The Brutal Art Of Bleeding
by kloi21
Summary: The most exquisite, chocolate coloured eyes burned at her memory, reminding her of her most beautiful of disasters… her most shameful of moments and yet here she was… replicating her most brutal betrayal only this time it was with him, not against him
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own Nowt**

_*So I've hit a bit of a wall when it comes to my other stories recently. To try and get myself back into things I found myself scribbling about all kinds of things, in all kinds of styles and then I hit on this… It's a 2 Part only, T/K story with adult themes and hopefully it will have loosened things in my brain enough so that I can carry on with some of my other stories._

_For anyone that is interested, I'm working on the next chapters of Ten Years and When Darkness Falls; I'm also going to re-write Little Wonders: Wonder 2 (Kat Amongst The Pigeons) before I update it again._

_So this is the story…_

_It's set during the day that Kim intends to be her 'first time', there are themes of a sexual nature but it is definitely not explicit (Think I'll leave that to Shawn, ha- ha), there is also a wee bit of bad language, if that is not your thing, please turn away now x_

_The Brutal Art Of Bleeding is dedicated to those who continue to read and review my work even when it gets a bit ropey x_

**THE BRUTAL ART OF BLEEDING **

** Part 1 of 2**

Oh-My-God! Oh-My-God! Oh-My-God!

Why the hell did things like this continuously happen to her?

How, over 19 short years of life had she acquired such a knack for turning even the most beautiful of things into the biggest of disasters?

Staring down at the sleeping form beside her, Kimberly Hart tried to blink back the tears that were rising in her eyes almost as quickly as the bile was rising in her stomach

Why on earth couldn't she just allow herself one perfect moment?

Why did she always have to mess things up?

Why did she have to spoil everything good that came into her life?

The most exquisite, chocolate coloured eyes burned at her memory, reminding her of her most beautiful of disasters… her most shameful of moments and yet here she was… replicating her most brutal betrayal only this time it was _with_ him, not _against_ him

It wasn't supposed to be like this… not today.

This wasn't supposed to happen… ever,

This was supposed to be over!

Looking down at the sleeping man she bit back the scream of tears.

How could she have let this happen when she was finally over him?

She'd moved on… God, she had to move on!

… But how could she after what had just happened?

Today was supposed to be the most special day of her life so far, she had been planning it for weeks and she'd spent all morning shopping for it… with that thought, Kimberlys gaze shifted guiltily from the still sleeping figure in her bed to the discarded bags of naughty delights next to her cream dressing table. She'd spent hundreds of dollars on them just a few hours earlier whilst she daydreamed of the night that lay before her and the discoveries of adulthood that she was about to make

Today was supposed to be amazing…

The memory of the lust soaked whisper of her name caused her heart to beat hard against her chest as she slowly accepted that yes, unfortunately for her, it had been amazing, it had been everything she had hoped it would be but it was still a complete mess because it wasn't supposed to be _him_, _he_ was supposed to be nothing more than a shame coated memory and yet here he was… in the naked flesh, dredging up feelings and memories that she thought she'd laid to rest a lifetime ago

Looking down at her watch, Kimberly's jaw dropped at the realisation that over two hours had passed since this whole fiasco had begun, that meant she had just two hours to prepare for what she had hoped to be perfect but now knew to be hopeless, in other words, she had two hours in which to confront her past before preparing herself to face the man she had been so sure was her future

In fact she'd been so sure that he was 'the one' that today was supposed to be her 'first time', it was the day her parents had dreaded and damn it, it was supposed to be perfect!

She had longed for it to be perfect with all of her heart and yet here it was… a shameful tangle of past and present, love and hate, it was supposed to be about her and the man she loved, it wasn't supposed to be about betrayal and regret

_The man she loved…_ looking down at the man in her bed, she wondered if she even knew who that was anymore

She'd dreamt of this day ever since she was old enough to understand the physical act of loving somebody, she'd read the romance novels and whole heartedly bought in to the belief that 'giving yourself' to a man was the most beautiful gift you could give to anybody.

She'd imagined him arriving with flowers and then showering her with compliments whilst they ate a nice dinner and then moved to the bedroom. She imagined a bed scattered with rose petals in a room lit up only by candlelight. She would lie out on the bed in silky lingerie whilst he poured her a glass of wine and told her how they would be together forever. Finally they would connect in the most intimate way a man and woman could whilst fireworks exploded overhead and a choir of angels sang… she had wanted that moment so much and after the year she'd just endured, she deserved it too.

Unfortunately her dreams had been shattered once again because the man she had ended up in bed with wasn't the man she had made the plans with, he wasn't who she had shopped for or painted her toe nails for. Yes, at one point in her life he was the man she had dreamt of being her first, but that was a long time ago… it had been before she realised that the world was bigger than her little town and her little life… Justin had shown her the bigger picture and she had loved it… loved him even when she shouldn't have.

The man lying in her bed had no right being there and yet watching him as he slept couldn't have felt more right… or more confusing.

Looking down at the oversized, dark green t-shirt that she had grabbed in her panic, shame burned bright on Kims cheeks.

Why had it been so easy for her to push all images of Justin and their life together from her mind as she had embarked on an erotic adventure with her ex-boyfriend? What type of person did it make her that she would give herself to somebody so easily? Her heart ached in her chest as she realised that the owner of the t-shirt would never just be 'somebody' and her feelings for him would never be 'easy'

Battling to keep the tears at bay Kims eyes settled on the door to her private bathroom, moving silently through the room she felt a sense of relief as she stepped onto the cool, tiled floor and shut the door tight, leaving her alone in the darkness

Switching on the light Kimberly finally allowed herself to give in to the tears that had been threatening to break free and wake her sleeping companion, but as they fell and then dried, Kim was surprised to find that the urge to cry disappeared with them and search as she might, she just couldn't find the disgust and regret that she had expected to consume her

Looking into the small, glass framed mirror that hung above her bathroom sink, Kimberly ran a shaky hand through her messed up, caramel coloured hair and struggled to make sense of a day that had held such promise

Today was supposed to be _the_ day, you know, where she crossed the line from adolescence into adulthood, she'd felt so hopeful that today would be the beginning of a new… less complicated Kimberly Hart, when would she ever learn that her life was just not meant to be uncomplicated? She would never walk an easy road; every contented moment would have to be fought for, and fought for this she had, because this year had been the toughest of her life.

Firstly, her mother had fallen madly in love with a French painter, he was a man that Kimberly had liked immediately but the news that her mother was leaving the country to be with him had knocked Kim for six. She hadn't been ready to turn her back on the teenage life that was just beginning to blossom for her in Angel Grove so she had decided to stay. Unfortunately, her mothers' quest for happiness had resulted in Kimberly being left almost completely alone for the first time in her life. Yes she'd had her friends and a boyfriend she'd adored with every ounce of her but she was a teenage girl, she was struggling with the roller coaster of being in love for the first time, not to mention the double life she was leading… she needed her mother, but her mum had sacrificed so much for her over the years, Kim would be damned if she asked her to sacrifice Pierre too

Then came the opportunity of a lifetime, the chance to leave her hometown in search of a dream she'd dreamt every day since she was 5 years old…the dream of competing in the Pan Global games. Kim hadn't been able to turn it down, hadn't wanted to if she was honest, but the things she'd sacrificed had been too many to tell, and in the process she had almost sacrificed her own sanity, but she'd stayed strong- as she was raised, and found that the tough times had dissolved into an easier, more ordinary time than she'd ever known…that's until _he _walked into her life, arms waving and voice raised

In the middle of the street he'd accosted her, slinging accusations, calling her names and pelting her with question after question as his dark eyes bore into her with an intensity she had never witnessed before.

The neighbourhood she lived in was miles from the college campus- it was quiet and civilised. Raised voices were never heard between the neighbours and Kim had been so embarrassed as the pair stood in the middle of the street hurling abuse at each other that she had felt she had no choice but to drag him into the apartment that she shared with two other girls, but if she had thought the change of scenery and lack of audience would calm his temper she had been sadly mistaken, because once inside he simply continued to vent

Anyways, long story short, he yelled, she apologised, he yelled some more, she quickly grew tired of apologising, then he called her a name and she took offence. Poking him hard in the chest, she'd called him a few choice names of her own which had resulted in the argument escalating, finally it reached its crescendo as she slapped him hard across the cheek for laughing at the wrong time and then before she knew her hands were tangled in his hair as she pulled him close to her and kissed him as though her very life depended on it

Kimberly was thankful that her cheeks at least had the grace to blush as she thought about how easily she had forgotten about the man that was driving for four hours just to be with her… driving all that way whilst she was kissing some other guy

At first he'd pushed her away from him whilst calling her a 'head-fuck' but the harshness of his words had done nothing more than add fuel to the fire that was now blazing through her.

She was burning for him in a way she'd never experienced before and she couldn't have stopped herself even if she had wanted to or even if he'd _really_ wanted her to, which he obviously didn't because after he had pushed her from him, their eyes, filled with fury and desire had met in a tangle of confusion and understanding and before Kim knew what was happening he had grabbed hold of both of her wrists and pulled her back to him, their bodies crashing together as the worlds that Kim had tried so hard to separate collided for one more time

So, one thing had lead to another, until the gift she had been planning to give to her boyfriend was gone, thrown onto a fire that had been strong enough to burn through everything she'd ever been taught and believed about relationships and sexuality and now here she stood, wearing _his_ school t-shirt and nothing else and as she studied her reflection for remorse, it made her sick to find that she had none

"KIMBERLY!"

The screech of her name as it flew from the lungs of her heavily accented Spanish roommate caused every muscle in Kims body to tense.

Cam Hernandez may have been the same height as Kimberly but graceful she was not and as her loud footsteps came to a halt just outside her bedroom door, the petite, brunette from California realised that she only had seconds left in which to prevent her entire world from being blown apart at the seams…

Sprinting from her bathroom, Kim spared a fleeting glance towards her bed and once satisfied that her guest hadn't been woken, threw all of her weight behind the bedroom door before growling at her friend to keep her voice down

Giggling loudly, Cam muttered something in Spanish that Kimberly didn't understand and then instructed her to stop messing around and just open the door.

Looking towards the duvet that was still rising and falling in the rhythm of sleep Kimberly found herself turning her back on her friends voice and leaning against the door whilst her memory began to replay the not so innocent rise and fall of the same duvet just an hour earlier, taking a deep breath she searched for a believable reason as to why she couldn't open the door but all she could find were images of him…

Fighting to stay in the here and now, Kim barely heard the lies as they crossed her lips, all she heard was him, whispering her name, issuing gentle commands

"Cam, I can't open it, I'm just out of the shower and I'm not decent… just go downstairs and I will be with you as soon as I get dressed, okay?"

"Not okay Kimberly" The voice boomed through the thickness of the door. "Come on just put on a towel, stop pretending to be shy and open up because I have news… very, very important news"

Pressing her forehead against the cool wooden barricade, Kim couldn't help but to envy the man who lay just a few feet away from her, dead to the world and completely unaware of how close they were to all hell breaking loose.

"Kimberly?"

Kims patience was growing thin and she had just opened her mouth to tell Cam to go away when a leg fought its way free of its cotton restraint and hung loose over the side of her bed. Suddenly all words evaporated from Kimberlys mouth and as her hungry gaze ate up the image of a bronzed, muscular thigh, her teeth nibbled unconsciously at her lower lip as she remembered the feel of that thigh, nestled snugly between her own

"Kim, are you okay?"

"Uh huh" was all that she could manage as she replayed the x-rated scenes from earlier in her mind. Her guest pepping the inside of her thigh with feather light kisses as she found her soul once again calling out to his…

"Kim stop messing around and just open this door"

Tearing her eyes from the sight before her, Kim fought to douse the flames of desire that were growing more intense every time she thought about the acts that had just been committed. Even though he was just a few feet from her, she found herself missing him in a way she never thought she would again, missing the closeness that she had just experienced for the first time.

Breathing deeply she chastised herself for thinking this way, what they had done had been nothing more than a mistake, yes it meant something to her because it was her first time but she had to remember it was the event that held the meaning… not the man.

Hardening herself to his memory, Kim finally managed to turn her back on him

"Cam, I told you I can't come out, I'm not dressed, can you please just leave me to get ready?"

"Okay fine, then I guess I can't tell you the news" In her mind Kim could see her friend tossing her waist length black curls over her shoulder in defiance as she always did. The girls may have only lived together for a few months but Kimberly was quickly learning the Spaniards ways, hence she knew the only way to get rid of her was to give in to her, so heaving a sigh into her chest, Kim turned the lock and then opened the door just enough so that she could see out, but not enough that Cam could see in

"What is it?" She asked impatiently

"What are you hiding in there?"

"Nothing!" Kim lied quickly as the scent of aftershave mingling with body heat snaked its way around her, causing her to feel lonelier than she had felt in a very long time.

That aftershave… it conjured up so many images… so many emotions, oh why wouldn't Cam just leave them alone, leave her to enjoy him whilst he slept so soundly, before he woke up and they both had to confront the consequences of their actions, before she had to lose him for what she feared would be the final time

"Cam please… just cut to the chase"

Kims voice was thick with emotion and Cams nearly black eyes narrowed in suspicion at her friends' behaviour

"Kimberly, are you okay?" Kim managed a small nod but no words followed

"Oh… I get it" Cam grinned mischievously as her thick black eyebrows rose and then fell as a light switch switched on in her head and she suddenly remembered the reason that she and Melody had been banished from their home that night "Preparations are under way huh?"

Kimberly immediately regretted sharing her plans for this evening with the girl before her but she didn't have the energy to argue so she simply nodded her head wearily and prayed that she would soon get bored

"Well then, I guess this might not be the best time to tell you but uh… he's here"

"What?!" Kimberlys heart dropped like a rock in her chest "Justin is here? Now?"

"He's down stairs"

"But he isn't supposed to be here until 6:30, Cam it's not even 4:30… what am I going to do?" Panic ripped through her chest as her eyes implored her friend to help her

She was supposed to have time to fix this…

Oh please God, let there be a way for her to fix this…

"You have to get rid of him!" Desperation burned in her eyes and coated her quickly spoken words

"Are you kidding me? Kimberly, you've been so excited about this and he's just driven for four hours to get here early which means he must be excited about it too, it's so close to being as perfect as you wanted it to be and now…"

Oh if her friend only knew the truth…

"I'm not ready!"

"Kim, honey, we've talked about this, he's a great guy, he's the _right_ guy"

"No, I mean I'm really not ready. Cam, I'm just out of the shower, my room is a huge mess… _I'm_ a mess! Please take him somewhere"

"Where?"

"I don't know, take him for coffee"

"I thought he didn't drink coffee"

"Oh Cam please! Think of something, anything, just buy me some time"

Cam watched her new friend in amused silence.

Kimberly was a total mess… it was true but Cam remembered vividly what she was going through. This day came to most women and it was rarely an easy one. Kimberly had built the occasion up into some massive event, all of her hopes and dreams of a 'happy ever after' rested on this one night and Cam had watched as she'd tied herself in knots whilst coming to the decision but she'd made it and Cam had believed her when she had told her that she was comfortable with it, the Kimberly Hart she was looking at now looked anything but comfortable and Cams heart went out to her

Reaching a finger through the crack in the door, Cam stroked Kimberlys cheek affectionately and gave her the most reassuring smile that she could manage

"Kim, it's going to be okay, this is a beautiful thing… and you love him right?"

"Yes of course I do" Kims answer came out too fast for her own liking as she heard her voice, sultry in a way she didn't realise she was capable of, whispering promises of an eternal love to a man who had no place hearing them

"No second thoughts?"

Kim shook her head whilst silently praying that her friend would just go. Her guest had just let out a small snore and Kim couldn't risk that they would be discovered

"Cam please…"

"1 hour"

Slamming the door shut, Kimberly managed to shout 'thank you' before quickly turning the lock and pressing her back against the cold wooden surface

He was here, her boyfriend, the one she had promised to give herself to… he'd driven all this way and he'd arrived early and all she could do was send him away whilst she tried to get rid of the problem that was still asleep in her bed.

How the hell had she got herself into this situation?

She didn't do this… she wasn't this sort of girl. She had a boyfriend that adored her and she adored him… Memories of just over one year ago blazed through her mind… oh God she was a horrible person!

She had become one of those girls that her mother had warned her never to be, the kind who was never satisfied with one man, the kind that left a trail of broken hearts in her wake but always ended up alone… but Kimberly didn't want to be alone!

She'd been there once before, she remembered her first few weeks in Miami, with her mother in Paris and her beloved boyfriend and all of her friends on the other side of the country, the loneliness had consumed her with a darkness she had never realised the human spirit could feel, let alone endure and then she'd met Justin… he'd saved her from herself and she owed him more than betrayal

As she heard the front door slam shut, Kimberly summoned all of her courage as she began to take small quiet steps towards her bed. The sound of her heart racing pounded in her ears as she faced the prospect of having to wake her guest, a conversation was inevitable but would that inevitably lead to a confrontation?

God she hoped not… she had one hour. That was one hour to wake him, dress him and then get rid of him

Please God, please let him wake up in a better mood than he had been in earlier…

Crouching down, Kimberly observed the sleeping man before her. His striking features looked so peaceful, and his face evoked so many memories and emotions that her heart ached at what they had become… what she had turned them into, but she had to wake him, had to face him, it had to be done and it had to be done quickly.

Reaching out a trembling hand she took hold of his exposed shoulder and shook him gently… he didn't stir.

Still gripping his shoulder, she shook again and then gently whispered his name, the sound of it crossing her lips sounding strange after all of this time

"Tommy?"

Still nothing

"Tommy please wake up"

Pushing his long hair from his eyes, Tommy Oliver let out a lazy yawn and then began to focus on the face in front of him

"…Kimberly?"

Like the morning after the night before, Tommy found his memory coming back to him in disjointed pieces.

He couldn't stop his face from screwing up in disbelief as he remembered a long flight with an overly flirtatious air stewardess and then the feel of the sun on his face as he stood in the middle of a quiet neighbourhood, yelling at someone, as anger like he had never known coursed through his veins

A coldness washed over him as he remembered throwing harsh truths and brutal honesty at the one person he had always fought to protect from those things, and then he remembered the feel of flesh on flesh… _her_ flesh on his, searching his groggy memory he tried to work out what was truth and what were dreams

Could it be true?

One look at the t-shirt Kim was now wearing as a nightdress told him it was

God… how many times had he dreamt of this moment?

It seemed like his entire adolescence had been spent thinking about this one perfect moment with Kimberly

Everything they'd done, he'd thought about them doing a million times before and now here they were, the deed was done and it hurt him more than he would ever admit that there was no after glow in which to hold each other and reflect on the occasion, instead there was only distance… that same gaping wound that she had carved still stretched out between them

Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Tommy looked everywhere but in the direction of his ex-girlfriend, seeing her half dressed and looking so vulnerable stirred something in him, but it was something he could not allow to work its way to the surface because it was something he had spent the last year trying to dig a grave for… his past with Kimberly Hart and his feelings for her

His protectiveness towards her would never change, that he could accept but the little glimmer of hope that just being near her caused to grow within him was something he would deny until his dying day.

As the covers fell and then pooled around his waist Kimberly couldn't help but stare at the taut muscles that had been left on display. His long dark hair was forming ringlets that fell over his shoulders and they led Kims gaze to a tattoo that was new, the corner of her mouth raised a little as she thought about how it suited this new, angry Tommy

Before today it had been over a year since she last saw her high school sweet heart and how that time had changed him, his shoulders and torso had widened considerably and the tight muscles of his chest and stomach seemed far more defined than she remembered, a knot began to form in her stomach as the desire flowing through her refused to subside

Turning his head slowly, Tommy finally let his gaze come to rest on the woman before him, the lust in her eyes was undeniable, their closeness had changed something in her, that much was clear, but it hadn't changed what she had done… the way she had treated him and hurt him, nothing could ever change him back to the man he had been before she had cut him open and left him to bleed. His heart and soul were unrecognisable after her attack… even to him, and that was something he would never forgive her for

"Do you want a photo?" He asked coldly "Because I'm not going to sit here all day just so that you can ogle me"

"Ogle?" The word spluttered incredulously over Kims lips as she crossed her arms tightly over her chest in protest at his words, but she was thankful for the darkness that she hoped was hiding the truth burning hot on her face. She opened her mouth to argue some more but found that words had deserted her

"Well I'm glad you aren't even going to deny it, you never were a good liar" He punctuated the statement with a wink and then held out his hand, a gesture Kim failed to grasp the meaning of until his fingers wrapped themselves around the hem of the t-shirt she was wearing and tugged "_This_ doesn't belong to you"

Again Kimberlys cheeks burned. She had been so afraid that Tommy would wake up wanting to argue with her when she knew they didn't have time that she hadn't even given a thought to the possibility he might wake up like this… cold and indifferent and it hurt more than she could have dreamt

He was still angry with her, and hurt, their display of amateur dramatics in the street was evidence of that and she couldn't blame him, she had treated him appallingly and she knew it, but after what they'd just done… what they'd shared, she couldn't help hoping for something more… something more peaceful, an understanding perhaps, but apparently angry and cold was the only way Tommy could deal with her these days.

"I'll go change then you can have it back… okay?" A shrug was his only response as he pushed himself back against the soft, cream headboard and attempted to take in his surroundings through the darkness provided by thick, dusky pink curtains

"I'll be right back," she said quietly as she padded across her bedroom and then disappeared into the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind her and then locking it tight


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I Own Nowt**

**THE BRUTAL ACT OF BLEEDING **

**Part 2**

Leaning against the wooden doorframe, wearing nothing more than a pair of dark blue jeans and a smile, Tommy Oliver listened to the movements of his ex-girlfriend in the next room and enjoyed the sense of pride that was creeping through him and providing him with a warmth he hadn't felt in a very long time

Kimberly loved him.

That's right _him_, not Justin, not some anonymous guy in a letter… _him_

Even after everything that had happened, everything she had put him through, the possessive streak in him still growled ferociously as her whispered declaration resonated throughout his soul causing him to once again question everything he thought he knew about himself, about Kimberly and about the relationship he had thought would last forever

As they'd made love for the first time, Kimberly had apologised for ever leaving him, she'd told him that this last year had just about killed her and then, in her sweetest voice she had sworn that he was the only man that she had ever and would ever love…Tommy knew he shouldn't care what she said or what she professed to feel, in fact he knew that if he cared about his own survival at all he would just turn around, walk out of her apartment and never look back but with a heavy heart he accepted that it was never going to be that way because whether she had meant to or not, she had him by the heart once more

Running a hand over the smooth, white painted wood of the door whilst he listened to Kimberly whistling some tune he'd never heard before and Tommys mind struggled against the visions of a life together that were now invading his every thought

Nothing that had transpired today made sense, but come to think of it nothing that had happened during this past year made any sense to him.

How could it be so wrong for him to have made love to the only girl that he had ever loved?

After all, he and Kimberly were supposed to be together, the fact that they weren't was something he had never been able to get his head around

But how could she walk out on him and then whisper that she loved him only to look at him the way she had just before she'd disappeared into the bathroom, like he was just some error that she had made and was now desperately trying to find a way to erase?

Pushing a hand through his tangle of curls, Tommy found himself wishing for a million things he knew he would never feel.

He wished he did truly hate Kimberly for what she'd done to them but he didn't…never had and if she did it a hundred times over he knew that he never would, but God how he wished he could walk away from her and never look back, he wished he could erase every trace of her from his memory… from his heart but he knew from past efforts that it was impossible because every road he walked down lead him straight back to Kimberly.

Why did it have to be so damn hard for him to let go when she had found it so easy to leave him?

Why couldn't he just move forward without her ghost clinging to him… or was it him that clung to her ghost? Too scared to live without her but too proud to beg her to come back

Could he ever find it in himself to ask her to come back to him?

Did he really want her to?

Could he ever bring himself to trust her again after he had trusted her so completely and she had betrayed him so brutally?

The man stood outside of Kimberlys bathroom caught somewhere between risking everything and running for his life was not the naïve teenager that she had left behind in Angel Grove, the brutality with which she finished their relationship had distorted his view of the world whilst the words she had used to rip out his heart had unwittingly ripped a new, kamikaze side into the man who had always weighed up every option before making decisions, but Tommys quest for numbness had lead him down a darkened road. He'd found himself making decisions whilst no longer considering the consequences of them and throwing himself into situations that his younger, more naïve self would never have considered.

The dark truth of Kimberlys betrayal was that Tommys innocence had been lost… his vision of the world had been tainted forever by the one person that had always brought clarity to it, but she still loved him…

Tommy twisted that thought over and over in his mind but just couldn't find a way for it to make sense.

_She'd_ left _him_.

She'd moved on and she had never looked back and yet she still loved him…

Taking the cold metal doorknob in his hand, Tommy momentarily paused to consider his options, but as usual, when it came to him Kimberly he only had one… so he leaned into the door, pushed hard with his shoulder and the lock that was the only boundary between them fell away

"I really like your place" He kept the tone of his voice as low and seductive as possible as he lent against the doorframe and gave an exaggerated gaze around the room

"Tommy, what are you doing? You shouldn't be in here" Kims voice sounded almost as fragile as she looked, standing there in his over sized t-shirt with damp strands of hair clinging to her face and for a second Tommy considered allowing her the easy way out, but unfortunately, he'd learned a long time ago that what was easy for Kimberly, wasn't easy for him so he just clenched his jaw and attempted to move things forward

"Kim there's a lot of things I shouldn't have done today but…" a simple shrug of the shoulders asked the question 'what can you do?' and told her that in his opinion at least, 'what was done, was done'.

As he stood silently, waiting for her response, his eyes searched the tiny room for any clues as to who Kimberly had become without him was now, but her response never came, instead she just stared at him as though if she waited long enough he would just hand her the answer to every question she had and although Tommy didn't have the answers she was looking for, what he did have was plenty of small talk

"You know you could really do with some shelving in here…" his eyes dramatically searched the over filled bath edge as though to prove his point "It would really give you some space considering how small this bathroom is, I'm surprised _Justin_ hasn't sorted that out for you" he attempted to disguise his bitterness with a smile but he knew he wasn't fooling either of them "Ah… pink and white curtains, cute, I bet they weren't Justins choice"

"Tommy please don't do this"

"Do what?"

"Don't act like we are okay and everything is normal and you and I can talk about me and Justin and who chose the curtains, because we can't…this isn't normal, it's weird and it's confusing but most of all it's just wrong" Kimberly fought to tear her gaze from Tommys as her soul cried out in distress at being so close to him after being separated from him for so long, but the weary sound was something she'd grown accustomed to so she buried it deep and carried on with the speech she had been preparing ever since she had woken up in the arms of her first love, the man who had gone on to become her first lover

"We're wrong Kimberly? Us? After everything we went through together? Are you kidding me?"

Turning around, Kimberly turned her back on Tommy in a way that her heart had never been able to.

Words, she had found easy to verbalise but the actions had proved harder… the distance that she had put between them when she had chosen to follow her dreams had made the situation more easy to deal with but now that she was face to face with the man that had bound himself to her with gentle adoration Kim found herself struggling, because every time she looked at him, every time she heard his voice say her name, the walls she had built to keep Tommy Oliver and his memory out began to crumble a little more

"Kimberly…"

With every part of her, Kimberly begged her heart to toughen up, to put that defensive armour into place that had allowed her to get this far without him, but every time she tried to push their memories away, new memories of him lying next to her, his strong arms wrapped tightly around her whilst his lips told her a fairytale of how they were meant to always be together, filled her mind

Glancing back and then turning away from her ex-boyfriend, Kimberly found herself staring into her own reflection and she was surprised to find that her skin was paler that she had known it, her eyes had become circled with darkness, shadowed by shame and she hated that Tommy had to see her like this!

"Kim…" In one stride, Tommy had closed the distance between the two and was now standing so close that she could feel his breath kissing the back of her neck and it caused goose bumps to dance across her skin in a way she had thought they never would again

"Tommy… I can't do this…" Heavy with shame, her gaze dropped to the ground "_We_ can't do this… it isn't right"

Lifting a hand, Tommy used her reflection as a guide as he reached forward and tucked a strand of damp hair behind her ear and then ran his hand over her smooth, honey coloured hair

"Well it feels right to me…" Even as he said it his heart screamed in protest, he was about to put it in the line of fire once more and the way it hammered against his rib cage warned him that it wasn't ready to be broken again, in fact, it hadn't even begun to heal after the first time

Heaving a ragged breath into her lungs, Kimberly could no longer hide from the way her actions had damaged Tommy. Gone was the warm, shy teenager she had left behind in her search for something more and in his place soon someone she barely recognised

She'd thought she had outgrown him a long time ago but now, after seeing the way he had effected her today, the way he had so easily turned her entire world upside down, she wasn't so sure

In fact, the way his scent was effecting her right now only proved to her that there was something still there, that flame that had sparked into life the very first time she laid eyes on him in the youth centre was still burning, even when she thought her feelings for Justin had extinguished it forever

Closing her eyes as she began to lose herself once more in the closeness of her ex-boyfriend Kim fought to keep hold of her senses. No matter how she felt there was no place for Tommy in her life right now, that door had closed, she'd moved on, she'd hoped he had too but the dark lust that clouded his eyes every time he touched her was a warning that she was playing with fire… someone was going to get hurt and it looked like that 'someone' was once again going to be Tommy

"I want my t-shirt," he demanded in a low, resolute voice that caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up.

"I'll just finish cleaning up and then…"

"_Now_" his voice cut through her own as he left her in no doubt of his intentions.

He wanted them to be together… and even though Kim knew there would always be a part of her that wanted the same she couldn't deny the truth- their perfect fairytale was over, she'd smashed it into a million pieces but more importantly she'd moved on from it.

She wasn't the girl that needed rescuing anymore, she was the girl who needed to be allowed to make her own mistakes and then make her own way back from them. Yes, her heart beat still quickened every time she thought about Tommy, yes she fought a daily battle not to pick up the phone and beg him to take her back and yes, if she was being completely honest with herself she still loved him but she was surviving without him, she was forging a new life for herself and it may not have been as perfect as the one she had shared with him but it was hers, her mistakes, her victories and that was enough

"Look Tommy…" she turned to face him once more "What happened earlier, it was a one off, you know? It should never, ever have happened"

A simple nod of his head was the only sign he gave that he had heard what she was saying, because at the same time, he lifted his hand and stroked her hair as his tongue glided over his slightly parted lips

"Tommy I mean it, what we did… I mean when I think about it I can barely believe it and I'm not saying it wasn't good I just… I just shouldn't have done it… I'm with someone else now and… I'm just not that type of girl, do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

Again he nodded, as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand but he never once broke the intense eye contact that was causing Kim to doubt ever word that fell over her lips

Tommy didn't know what today meant… if it even meant anything at all, but one thing he did know, without a shadow of a doubt was there would never be a girl who was as beautiful to him as Kimberly was right now, standing before him wearing nothing but one of his old t-shirts, with damp hair and barely any make up on

Beautiful…

Tommys fingers traced the line of Kims cheek bone and he couldn't help but smile

_His_ beautiful…

Swallowing hard, Kimberly tried to remind herself that she had a boyfriend, someone who had gone to so much trouble just to be with her today and no matter what Tommy said or did now, they were finished… she just had to stay strong- for everybody's sake, even the way her stomach fluttered at his touch couldn't convince her that there was a way forward for them

"How about I change…" Kim fought to keep her gaze at eye level, but his naked torso was just inches from her own and it kept stealing her attention and breaking down her resistance little by little "Then you can get dressed and we can talk"

"Or how about we both get undressed…" Tommys voice was low as his fingers dripped from her jaw line to the soft skin of her throat "And we don't say another word" Lowering his head, Tommy moved in for a kiss, and Kimberly was just about to give into it when sense suddenly overtook her and she raised a hand to his chest and then lowered her face so that her lips were out of reach

"Tommy…" her heart was hammering against her chest so hard that she feared he would hear it and know the truth

"Is this about 'Mr. Wonderful?'" he couldn't keep the jealousy from his voice as he huffed and then crossed his arms over his wide, naked chest, his cool exterior beginning to slip at the thought of Kim with another man

"Of course it's about him, I can't believe you even have to ask!"

"Then just forget him"

"Tommy!"

"Hey, I'm serious, you cheated on me with him and now you've cheated on him with me, sounds like we're all equal sides of this messed up triangle" Again, he moved in for a kiss and again Kim planted her hand firmly on his chest as she attempted to push him back a little and allow herself some breathing space

"Is that some kind of warped Tommy logic? Two wrongs some how make this all right? Or are you seriously trying to justify what we've done so that I'll sleep with you again?"

"We can miss out the sleeping this time and just get straight to the sex if you like"

"This isn't a joke Tommy! God, what is wrong with you?" shaking her head, Kimberly couldn't believe what she was hearing; Tommy Oliver, Mr. Do-The-Right-Thing was actually standing before her attempting to justify a betrayal that he knew the damage of only too well.

"Tommy, I'm sorry if you feel like I led you on but I'm with somebody else now and I really…"

"You really what?"

"I really want it to work out and I know that probably isn't what you want to hear but…"

The laugh that Tommy let out was the last thing that Kim had been expecting from him

"What?" Her eyebrows dropped in confusion but Tommys laughter drowned out her question "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Kim I'm sorry…"

The show he put on as he pretended to force himself to stop laughing left Kim so furious that she didn't know whether to scream at him or just cut straight to slapping him, but she managed to keep hold of herself this time, the memory of where this type of volatile confrontation had lead them last time was still too close to the surface, so instead she just stood there as she swallowed down the anger and she waited for him to continue

"I'm really sorry Kim I just…" More forced laughter was followed by a dead serious face as his arms once again crossed over his chest "I just can't stand here and keep a straight face whilst you tell me what a mistake it was and how you love someone else when all the time I can hear your voice begging me to go to bed with you" The sides of his lips curled into a sly smile and it took all of Kims self control not to slap it right off his stupid, pretty face

"I didn't beg you, you jerk!"

"You didn't beg me to stop that's for sure" The words escaped Tommys mouth before he even had time to register their presence in his consciousness.

He was teasing her, goading her into reacting… unable to stop him-self. He needed to know that even now, even when the heat of the moment had cooled he could still effect her and the way her cheeks flushed with anger told him that it may not be the same heart stopping effect she'd had on him earlier but he was succeeding in provoking a reaction from her at a time when the worst thing she could have done was do, say, or feel, nothing

"I was the one who said we shouldn't do it, I told you no Kim, I told you that you would regret it"

"Well what do you want, a gold star for being right? A big 'Tommy knows best' badge?"

"No…" He dug his hands deep into is pockets as his hair fell from behind his ear and slightly obscured his face. He sighed heavily as his dark eyes searched the floor and then lifted to search the face of the woman stood before him "All I _want_ Kimberly, is you, don't you know that by now?"

His honesty was so unexpected as it snuck out from behind his wall of anger that it hit Kim like a blow to the chest

"I…" She searched for something to say… anything that would cool the air around them but all she could do was stare silently into the dark eyes that were looking down at her, waiting in silent anticipation for her response and for what seemed like the first time today, the Tommy she'd known and fallen so deeply in love with seemed to be standing right before her.

Gone was the anger that had made him yell and had distorted his features and gone was the defensive body language as he stood, hands tucked deep into the pockets of his jeans as he peaked out at her from behind the mass of untamed curls. His dark eyes had lost the blaze of anger and once again gazed at her with the innocence she had always loved him for

When had Tommy become this damaged?

That was a silly question… but he was stood there, practically bleeding in front of her, more open than she had ever seen him before when her past actions should have closed him off to her forever.

He was hurt and looking to hurt her, she'd humiliated him and now he wanted to humiliate her by mocking what they had just shared, Kim could see his game plan for what it was and that should have given her the upper hand, but for some reason she just couldn't bring herself to use it.

His unexpected honesty had pulled the rug out from under her and she was still struggling to regain her emotional balance

"Tommy…"

His hand snuck out and pushed his hair back behind his ear as Kim searched herself for the words to make this situation okay

"Tommy I'm so sorry…"

The freed hand again reached out to her, this time cupping her cheek as she struggled to keep her thoughts in some sort of coherent order

"You came here looking for answers and I've been so selfish"

His long fingers traced the line of her jaw before his thumb glided over her chin and back

"I never, ever wanted to hurt you… you have to believe that"

Caramel eyes met chocolate as a silence fell over the former couple.

Tommys dark eyes begged her not to speak whilst her lighter ones begged him to say something… anything to break this moment. Her heart was hammering in her ears as his hand began moving backwards, as it tangled its self gently in her hair she tried to speak… tried to tell him to stop but no words were ever heard, instead her lips fell silent as the world began to fall away, time and reason became nothing more than a speck on the horizon as the feel of his breath became hotter and her eyelids slowly slid shut in silent anticipation

The moment of hesitance before she responded was almost as sweet to Tommy as the actual act of kissing her because it proved she had wanted to say no… wanted to but couldn't

Finally, after all of this time it looked like he had some of the power in their relationship and he loved it, the way he could draw her to him even when her better sense was telling her not to made him feel more powerful than the morphing grid ever had.

THE END…


End file.
